Americans Call Each Other Food Items As Terms of Endearment.

Sugar. Honey. Sweetie pie. Pumpkin. Honey buns.

When you hear this on a regular basis as an new immigrant to America, I guess the natural response is to join in the ritual that is affectionate food name-calling. At least according to my brother, it was. And it is a story that I will never get tired of telling.

Once upon a time, my brother was in first grade and having heard different foods being used countless times as terms of endearment, he was like, Heck, lemme try it out! A classmate of his asked him something and my brother responded with, “Sure, tomato chicken!” His classmate didn’t like that so much and told on him. The struggle was definitely real.

My personal experience was much different from brother dearest. I didn’t call anyone anything particularly out of the ordinary after being acclimated to hearing food items being used as terms of endearment for a few years. For me, there was just a certain word that didn’t seem right at the time. And till this day, it’s still weirds me out juuuust a little bit.

I remember the first time I heard it. It was in fifth grade with one of my favorite teachers, Mrs. F. She made math so fun with her fun little rhymes and songs that would help us remember our multiplication tables (e.g. “6 x 9 is 54. Who’s that knocking on my door?”) After one of her lectures, one of the boys in my class asked her for something ( I don’t remember what). And what was her response?

“Of course, baby cakes!”

Baby cakes.

BABY CAKES.

Mind you, this was in Kentucky and Mrs. F had one of the sweetest Southern American accents that I have ever heard. But it was so confusing because those horrific words were said in such an endearing way. I couldn’t help but think of logic and reason with “baby cakes” as follows:

Chocolate cake is made up of chocolate. The cake part is chocolate-flavored and the icing can be too.

Vanilla cake is made up of vanilla. The cake part is vanilla-flavored and the icing can be too.

Baby cakes are made up of babies. The cake part is baby-flavored and THIS IS NOT OKAY.

Eventually, my concern diminished over the course of my fifth grade experience. As she said it more often, I became desensitized to it. I came to terms with the idea that, perhaps, “baby cakes” is not a literal term of endearment. At long last, this truth was confirmed as I heard other Americans using the word. Good move on not eating babies, America.It’s been a relief to find out that Americans aren’t cannibals and do not endorse such behavior. Tune in next time when I talk about how my mom and I learned the hard way that you can’t call Americans fat. You see, in Nigeria, you can say this and the person you’re talking to will be like, “Yeah, I’ve gained weight.” And they’ll probably end up talking about something else. In America, it’s not okay. At all. Unless you want friendships to end.

Oops. 

Have you heard of the term “baby cakes” before? What do you like to call people when you want to show affection? 

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